Relationship Advice: The Ought To’s

Relationship Advice: The Ought To's

The holidays create all kinds of relational stress. Holiday deadlines, extra bodies in the house, travel. A potential combination for fireworks. But nothing changes relationships like a good crisis. So, here’s some relationship advice based on recent lessons from our crisis mode.

We’ve been in crisis mode with my mother-in-law since November. Moves from assisted living to a full-scale lock-down memory care unit. Three hospital visits, one with an ICU twist.

Bottom line, Granny should no longer be with us. Gratefully she is, and thanks to her dementia, she’s none the wiser.

Draining though it is, crisis mode simplifies things. Focus shifts from tasks to people, at least it does for me. And that’s a tough shift. My husband is the people person. There’s a reason I work at home with the dog.

But I like the shift too. I like the way the small nagging things disappear, and we just enjoy another day or hour together. No nitpicking. No sibling squabbles. Just support and encouragement. Time with family we haven’t seen in far too long because we were too busy. Or so we thought—until the crisis occurred. Then we have time. We find time. We make time.

James 4:17 NIV says, “Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do, and doesn’t do it, sins.”

I ought to:

Call my parents more.

Have lunch with my sister.

Have coffee with friends.

Pray more with the kids.

Pray more with Russell.

Reach out to our extended family.

Really. I ought to.

So, is this my New Year’s resolution? Not so much, just a realization as we walk through Granny’s last days that I do have time if I choose to give it. It’s a big step of faith for this crank-it-out, high achiever, because the to-do list is screaming in the background. Yet God reminds me that people always come first with Him, and they should with me too.

So, I’m focusing on the ought to’s and making them to do’s instead. Not just wishful thinking, but appointments on my calendar.

And I’m bringing the kids along for the ride. My hope? We will master these lessons together.

God, give me Your heart for others and help me to trust You to finish the work of the day.

Questions:

What differences have you noticed with the return to the normal schedule?

How are the holidays different? Are they better?

What changes would benefit the family on a regular basis?

Tweetables:

Nothing changes things like a good crisis. Click to tweet.

When the crisis occurs, we have time. We find time. We make time. Click to tweet.

God reminds me that people always come first with Him, and they should with me too. Click to tweet.

So, I’m focusing on the ought to’s and making them to do’s instead. Click to tweet.

Not just wishful thinking, but appointments on my calendar. Click to tweet.

And I’m bringing the kids along for the ride. Click to tweet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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