This week, I found myself at the gap. The chasm between wishing and reality.

Job 3:25-26 reads, “What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me. I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, but only turmoil.”

I’m at a place where new fears show real potential. Where same old, same old begins to look permanent.

And God is calling me to love.

To love in spite of these things.

To love even if the fears are realized—again.

To love even if nothing changes—despite much prayer.

To love even if that love isn’t returned the way I want—ever.

I stand at the gap, and I want to be mad at God. To tell Him this wasn’t what I signed up for. To demand fairytale relationships and happy endings.

And I realize, it’s a call to trust in God.

Again.

With no lollipops and rainbows in sight.

To trust in Him by walking in obedience in the face of potential pain.

And I’m scared.

Because pain is painful.

So I stand at the gap, eyes welling and lips trembling.

Then God speaks Hebrews 12 over me.

Hebrews 12 speaks of throwing off sin. Of running with perseverance. Of fixing my eyes on Jesus who for the joy set before Him endured the cross scorning its shame. It speaks of not growing weary or losing heart. Of struggling against sin, and of a godly discipline that confirms my status as God’s daughter. Of strengthening feeble limbs and of making level paths. Of things that cannot be shaken. Of worshiping God with awe because He is an all-consuming fire.

So I stand at the gap, eyes welling and lips trembling.

And I jump.

Questions:

Is your trust in God tied to your personal happiness?

How do circumstances affect your relationship with God?

How do you deal with life’s realities when God’s love seems at odds with pain and suffering?

How would you coach your kids through life’s realities when God’s love seems at odds with pain and suffering?

Tweetables:

This week, I found myself at the gap. The chasm between wishing and reality. Click To Tweet
It's a call to trust in God. Again. With no lollipops and rainbows in sight. Click To Tweet
To trust in God by walking in obedience in the face of potential pain. Click To Tweet
And I’m scared. Because pain is painful. Click To Tweet
So I stand at the gap, eyes welling and lip trembling. And I jump. Click To Tweet

2 Comments

  1. Emily Johnsen on May 3, 2016 at 9:19 am

    Thought-provoking and beautifully written!

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